Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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