dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize