Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
