I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
