can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
