I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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