how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
this will be a night to untag.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
