Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I need water and some morals
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
