his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
