Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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