We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
