ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
that's an acceptable place to lick
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize