how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
