so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
