Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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