How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
