After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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