as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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