your parents love me but you hate me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
