"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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