just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
