I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
