LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
