so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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