All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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