Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
