Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
