is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
