I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
