By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
