Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
