Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize