she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My vagina is officially offended.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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