I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
