the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
