I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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