worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
