I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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