My nipple is on Facebook.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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