Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
