What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
