Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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