you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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