Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
