At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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