Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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