I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize