Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
