there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
