omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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