No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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