dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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