How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize