HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
