Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
