is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize