You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
