omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
