So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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