I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
