Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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