I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
