wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
