Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
home. puking in laundry basket.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
