my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
