I wish I could teleport
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
