My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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