Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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