with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I could make wine with my vomit
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
