no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
