My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
