How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
