Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
