I just saw a hot homeless man
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
