he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't deserve a penis
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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