"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
