This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
